Tuesday, December 23, 2008

My Wiener Gets 12 Miles Per Gallon

Yesterday I was summoned to the Children's Museum of Memphis where I found a large automobile shaped like a hot dog. It was the Wienermobile. It was full of friendly female college graduates who handed out whistles shaped like the mobile and extolling the virtues of mechanically separated meat products. I got to go inside the mobile, and I can't say that it wasn't fun.

Some people simply adore the Wienermobile. Here are some revelers documenting the occasion:

For others, the Wienermobile can be a source of inexplicable terror. An example is this young lady who, despite the heroic efforts of her "Hotdogger" guide to serenade her with the soothing tones of a Wienie Whistle, lost her mind while exploring the diesel powered frankfurter's interior.

Here is what a "Wienie Whistle" looks like sitting on my desk:

Here is what a "Wienie Whistle" looks like being played in front of a Christmas tree by my wife:

Here is what mechanically separated meat looks like before it becomes Oscar Meyer Wieners:

Here is where you can apply to become a "Hotdogger," and drive the Wienermobile yourself.

Here is some cold hard proof that Oscar Meyer does indeed support "The Troops."
At last, wienie-loving djingoists can grill out with a clear conscience.


  1. That meat paste looks like taffy. The question is: Will it stretch if pulled?

    You are much funnier than me. Dammit.

  2. My stomach churns with culinary delight.

  3. That weniemobile is the cutest thing ever.

  4. I remember when the wienermobile came to my elementary school. I think I actually have my whistle still somewhere in my parents' attic..

  5. The meat looks just like frozen yogurt... must.. try.. some..

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